The Oxymoron

…. indeed, feeling elated and depressed simultaneously is an oxymoron

I just made an investment of 240 ringgit for contact lenses.

Oh joy, oh sorrow!

L. Queen 20070202

There will come a time where one will start to think twice when splurging money nightly entertainments. Call me scrooge, but with my new 2008 budget laid out, the allowance for nightly entertainments is only twice a month. Either two Frangipanis a month or two La Queens a month or one of each.

As usual, I felt 50-50 last night. Since CJ is itching to get out and it has been ages since we’ve partied together, hey, why not?

Arrived rather late. 12.30 i’d say, but to a good crowd as I heard there wasn’t much meat earlier. There was some drag show going on stage. People were screaming out loud to supposedly ‘hot’ transsexuals, a few men and drag queens showing off on stage. I couldn’t be bothered to check it out entirely as everyone was blocking and I just wasn’t interested. Managed to locate my other friends at the corner and we hung out there.

So I was informed that my ex would be there. I didn’t spot him initially, not that I was looking out for him in the first place. After a while, I kinda saw him dancing behind me. I wasn’t wearing my glasses but as blind as I was, it was him alright …. and NO, I didn’t say hi. Call me a bitch, but I wasn’t in the mood to say hi to him, not that I’m still angry at him, I just felt that whoever I was involved with in the past, is the past. In some weird way, I felt liberated. Apart from that, since my spare eyes wasn’t on me, I could always use the excuse that I couldn’t see clearly =P

Off we went to the car for more liquor after a while. A friend commented that I looked more veiny and if I have been working out. I didn’t know how to reply that question as I’ve always been physically active, so I just took it as a compliment … or not. Perhaps it was another way of saying that I look more skinny? I don’t know. It was all good though.

The club was less packed when we returned. Many were standing outside so we were pondering of an impending raid. Shrugs. We went in anyways, but was more aware now, in case the cops might wanna pay a visit.

Ok, so now the juicy part. CJ says many were checking me out. I knew of one guy who was constantly trying to dance close to me. Then there was this Caucasian man at the bar. He checked me out as I left the toilet. It was kind of eerie honestly. I didn’t have taste for both guys, more so for the Caucasian. The chinese dude wasn’t too bad, but just not my type. It became more scary when I sat down on the sofas with CJ, these two started walking up and down in front of me. At one point the chinese guy came and sat beside me, but never spoke as I was busy talking to CJ. The key word: NO EYE CONTACT! A good way to reciprocate a person’s interest is eye contact and if you’re just not interested, don’t let him catch you looking at him.

It was already 2.30 by then. Out of no where, my ex walked past me. He saw me and I waved. We talked for a bit. Apparently my other bunch of friends have called it a night …. without telling me they’re leaving! Hmmph. It was good that he came over to say hi, but it didn’t matter to me even if he didn’t. I also noticed some new jewelry on him, something I’ve not seen him wear when we were together.

That was pretty much it. We went back to the dance-floor to finish up the remaining 15 minutes of operating hours and left.

Was feeling lonely on the way back and I couldn’t figure out why I attract people I’m not attracted to. It’s just been so long since I had any intimacy and now I’m starting to feel it